25

I'm having a quarter-life crisis. It's like a mid-life crisis but more efficient. I can't afford a motorcycle. And it's a bitch. I was struck by the impression that I haven't done anything with my life, and have resolved to start working harder. This was after a few choice cuss words and a couple tears. Rachel prayed for me again, like she always does. She has been good for me, interceding for me and bringing my spirit closer to God. I wonder if in another century she would have been a nun, and sat around, just praying. She has let me feel OK freaking out. I don't do it that often, but I know that I could, and recently I have. As I said before about Abraham, I want to suffer, and struggle, and be tested. Maybe God has never tested me because I've never been ready for it. Maybe it would have killed me, at least my spirit. Maybe I'm still not ready, but I have a sense that I will at least start working towards it.